Friday night was amazing! It was so much fun, Sati and I went to the Christmas party. Like the typical brownies that we are, we ended up arriving an hour late...lol... Once we arrived we started talking to people. I was introduced to several new people that I had seen at her job, but never actually had conversations with them. Oddly enough they knew who I was and asked why I had left the company. I had previously worked closely with Sati and that's how we met. I had been there for about six years but, an oppurtunity was precented that I just could not decline. Anyhow, Sati and I were treated extremely great at the party. I couldn't help but smile when one of the guys there would catered to us making sure we had everything we wanted. Sati started dancing and man, can she dance. I was thinking wow...I should take classes from her. After having a couple of glasses of wine I started dancing. It was so much fun!
Saturday was a completely different day. I got up early at 7 a.m. and the hubby left to get his car to the shop. I went to my mom's. When I got there my mom and I started talking. She currently takes care of my grandmother who is very ill and needs help to do everything. My mom is the youngest of three siblings and is the only female. My uncles live in other states. Since we have always been extremely close to my grandma who at one point helped raise me, we decided to bring her from Mexico since her health was getting worse by the day. She is staying with my mom who is with her 24/7 aside from working a ft job.
Since August, my gma's health has decline so much that she now is in a wheelchair. She can no longer walk, and is loosing movements of her arms. It is so hard for me to see her like that, I have always seen this storng woman, who was so independent. I love her so much because we are so close. I see her as my other mom. She helped me with my daugther when she was little and she has always been there when I needed her. Now, as I sit here I can't help but feel helpless. I want to help her get better, but I don't know what to do anymore. My mom has taken her to the doctor's and they have done several tests and still can't find out what is wrong. While all of this is going on my parenst are paying everything in full b/c eventhough my gma is a resident she does not have medical insurance. I try and help out as much as I can, but it's just not enough.
I hate that I can't do anything about it. I try and come as much as I can and help my mom take care of my gma. I come throughout the week and Sunday's so my mom can go to church with my dad and little brother. I make her breakfast, make sure she dosen't need anything, help her excersice and whe she gets tired I take her to her bed. I help her get in bed making sure that I don't hurt her and then I listen to her vent to me. She tells me that my mom helps her so much and that she hates the fact that she can'tdo anything by herself. As we talk she starts crying and that breaks my heart. I don't like when they vent and cry b/c I again feel helpless and just say that they need to be strong and think possitive. What else can I say? So my mom and gma vent to me and I listen to their thoughts, their conserns, their problems. It's just so hard when I hear them cry because they are very strong women who I have always looked up to and admire. I hope that one day I ca be ust like them.
Through all of this my hubby has been so supportive. He goes with me on Sunday mornings to take care of my gma. He could be at home sleeping in, but he wakes up early just so that he can go with me. He is a great man and I couldn't asked for more.
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